PRE-CAP: Discovering dress regret - IT happens

3,700. The number of times we have typed "dress regret" on the WB boards. Why then was I oblivious to this potential pitfall until it actually happened to me? After choosing the "Cambridge" I was done looking, or so I thought. 


I mustered the courage to finally introduce myself on the boards and post a dress photo. Perhaps you remember my sassy avatar and if it's out on the internet it must be truth, right?

Then IT happened. By IT I'm referring to the union of Vera Wang and David's Bridal. Maybe you remember when Vera captivated the wedding world in early February by launching her "White" line to be sold exclusively at DB. If you so much as sneezed near a bridal blog you couldn't have missed IT, IT was everywhere.

My knowledge about Vera Wang wedding gowns was limited to two facts: 1) she was a high-end designer and 2) outside my price point. I knew nothing of her esthetic or influence. I'm also something of a snob about DB because of a horrible store experience years earlier. All this to say that I had zero interest in IT.

But the press, commentary and critique never seemed to end. Alright already, what's the big freaking deal?! I gave in, clicked over to the DB website and there IT was. My. Heart. Stopped. 

Photo credit: David's Bridal, courtesy of Vera Wang

WTH?!? I felt hot. My heart was pounding and I thought I might puke or pass out. I had never experienced a reaction like this and for a dress?!? I wanted to jump up and down and scream out loud. What was happening to me?!? IT was nothing like my dress choice, save the fit-and-flare silhouette. IT had that voluminous skirt. IT was pink, for goodness sakes. IT was love at first sight.

I tried to resist, and it took me a week to figure it out. IT one, Teacup zero.

Did you discover dress regret? When did you know your first dress choice wasn't "the one"? How did you reconcile the conflict, did you stick with your initial pick or go with your gut for the new gown? How did your final decision affect your feelings - were you happy with IT?

PRE-CAP: Dress #1 - Before Vera came Enzoani

I cannot tell you how relieved I feel to finally share the story of my dress search! Even still I find myself trying to hide the computer from Mr. Hot Tea so he won't catch a peek. DOH - we're married now silly Teacup, it's okay.


Let's rewind back a year ago. Just after getting engaged, we chose a date for our ceremony at the Carmel Mission Basilica. I had completed the Catholic catechism and was baptized, confirmed and received my first communion at that altar during Easter 2009. It only seemed logical to want to get married there, and I needed a dress to stand up to the grandeur.

Photo credit: Karlo M. Leonor

Dutifully following Randy Fenoli's advice of bridal homework, I poured over thousands of gowns in magazines and on theknot.com. I learned the recommended silhouettes for my body type and paid careful attention to my bookmarked styles. Maybe through process of elimination I'd figure out what I wanted. OCD, much?


Hindsight 20/20, I now know to listen for the little inner self who felt whirly-twirly over a beauty by Priscilla of Boston. She was all wrong for me and the Mission, and yet I still drool when she comes into view. Love!

"Morgan" from Priscilla of Boston's Vineyard Collection

The consultant let me try her on, knowing the ballgown cut and proportion would swallow my frame. I didn't even get a photo, she came off so fast. Frown-faced, I zipped into a lace fit-to-flare that was waaaaaay over budget. 

There's a small smile of relief

Like Miss Mole previously described, my early wedding vision gravitated toward Style Me Pretty's vintage-inspired, romantically rustic loveliness. Shifting my search to find the "perfect" version of this dress, I insisted on doing it alone so as not to be influenced by opinions other than my own. This decision was not my best idea ever. Then again, Mama Teacup was 2,000 miles away and I had to place an order soon.

There was something very 'look, but don't touch' about me in them. My reflection seemed pretty and it felt like how I wanted to be viewed by others - conservative, composed, in control. I'm realizing that this "safe" perception is my red flag of guardedness.

Just for grins, the consultant pulled something totally out of my criteria. I don't know the style, but many of you will recognize it. What I do remember is how FUN it felt to wear!

My inner self exposed. Quick, get back to safety!

With one final appointment at another shop to go, I was ready to buy something and move on to other important wedding tasks. I had my criteria down: romantic, lace, fit & flare, semi-sweetheart, no corset. My new consultant pulled the "Cambridge" by Blue by Enzoani, wrapped the "Diana" belt around my waist and started to tear up. And she said she never cries! So much for no external influence...

The belt sold it for me, I love that beautifully crafted creation. There I am, all ready to get married. No tears, no jumping. Safely guarded and in control - look, but don't touch. I left I trying to happy dance, but I'll admit now it felt forced. 

But I had done the impossible, right? I found "the one" within budget and meeting all my perceptions of what I thought I wanted. Unfortunately, my methodology would eventually backfire. It would cost five months, lost deposits, and a pink dress to learn that I couldn't analyze away my feelings.

How did your dress shopping experience compare to mine? Did you know what you wanted right from the start and stay true to your vision? Or did you come to a completely different decision? What feelings or self discoveries did you make in the process?




* In case you missed the teaser pic from our big day and don't want to wait for a future post to see dress #2, you can find it and a huge grin on my face here. *

Remember me? Re-entering reality as a MRS!

Aloooooooooha, Hive! 


Oh, how I've missed you. I could bore you with how work, life and wedding converged into the perfect personal storm over the last few weeks. It got so bad that I was in serious need of a happiness intervention.

Credit: Sweet Tooth Suicide

It's fascinating that the time leading up to "the happiest day of our lives" could cause crippling stress and anxiety. I'm ashamed to admit that it got me questioning everything only a few days before W-day. Thankfully, Mr. Hot Tea picked me up, warmed my cold feet and functioned when I could no longer cope.


There will be time to fill you in with lots of pre-caps while we await our pro pics. That's right, we lived the cliche and are emerging post-wedding and honeymoon to tell the tale. I had no idea that being Mrs. would be so awesome! We can't get enough of calling each other our new pet names of "husband" and "wife" which is funny if only because "finace(e)" felt really awkward during our engagement. Go figure.


Anyway, I'm excited to finally share the stories of how I met my dress, our cake design process, my Vegas bachelorette party, and the DIY extravaganza that left me sleepless in Santa Cruz. I owe you at least that much before we get to the goods of W-Day, right? 


Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I'm back and will be posting regularly to get you all caught up. Until soon, here is a little pic of our big day. Yay!

xoxox,

MRS. Teacup

{ personal photo }

Silicon Valley Bee Meet Up - September recap

Aloha, Hive - I'm super excited to share this month's meet up in San Jose with you. You may remember our last meet, and the group is adding new members and celebrating our first bride to return as a newlywed Mrs. Yay!


First off, I want to extend some love and appreciation to our informally designated meetup coordinator Miss Godiva. She is the driving force for scheduling our outings, posting them on the boards, and following up via PM to remind us of the upcoming event. Thanks, Godiva!


We kept with the tradition of dinner at Pasta Pomodoro in Santana Row...though the location may switch in the near future. Here's a group shot of all the lovely ladies.

Back row: teacup, cutexkitty, breezybri19

Front row: sparkedlove11, jbug, Miss Godiva

Doesn't sparkedlove11 look absolutely blissful? She was the picture of serenity and newlywed love. I won't lie - I felt a twinge of jealousy in my pre-wedding stressed out self.  I totally can't wait for my big day if I can look half as lovely as she afterwards! Sparkedlove11 exuded peaceful beauty. I know I'm gushing, but she was positively a gorgeous new wife. Congrats, we are all so happy for you!

An emerging tradition for us is to dress our upcoming brides in designated gear. Sparkedlove11 passed along her sash and provided a veil for October date twins cutexkitty and me to sport that evening. You can imagine the interested strangers on the street who don't understand that we are ALL brides-to-be. So fun!

cutexkitty, breezybri19, jbug, Miss Godiva, and sparkedlove11

We made our parade down Santana Row to Pinkberry after sadly discovering the closure of Ben & Jerry's. The flavor debate now compares the merits of peanut butter fro yo vs. the retired salted caramel. 

A final word to say some of our past attendees were definitely missed - pengoala, nonapkns, and Entangled. Hope to see you again soon.

We welcome new bees to join in the local fun. It's a great group to talk all things weddings and we are looking for more future wives to celebrate with. Join us on Wednesday, October 5 - details can be found at the bottom of this thread on the NorCal board. And if you aren’t in our area, head to your local board to see what’s happening close to you!

A Great Day to be a Kid - $1.41 DIY Activity Bags

When super excited, I relax my Midwest sensibility and default to West Coast vernacular. Forgive me, but to properly start I can't help saying...

DUDES! 

The DIY project I'm about to share was hands down the most fun, affordable and quick to assemble. I'm talking about providing entertainment for the 20 or so children we expect as guests. 


A few Bees from past generations shared their cute ideas for kiddie activity bags, including Mrs. Lox, Mrs. Toucan and Mrs. Martini. For ours, I'll begin with the price.


I spent $34 to create 24 of these fun little surprises. Yay for the budget! No lie, each completed bag cost a whopping $1.41 each. That's right, one dollar and forty-one cents. Can you even get a cup of Starbucks drip coffee for that price?

Easy peasy and cute to boot!

Inspiration struck while browsing Michael's last week. They have an aisle of "Fun Finds" that were on sale for 70% off. Most of these party favor toys retail for $1 and I looked for packages with multiples to stretch my 30 cents to the max. I love a bargain!

Sunglasses 2pk = 15 cents per pair

Couldn't resist testing them out. What can I say? It was a late night.

3-D puzzles, 6 per box. I broke them up and put 3 different puzzles in a bag = 15 cents each

Kazoos. I love it when kids make noise! 4 pk = 8 cents each

Activity books, 6pk = 5 cents each

Sticker books, 12 pages per book. On clearance for 79 cents = 7 cents a sheet

64 crayon box for $1 = 2 cents each

Smaller sized kraft bags, $4.99 for 13 = 42 cents each

Notice Ollie in the background inspecting my assembly. He's an excellent supervisor, just ask him. And the surfboard in the background is actually wedding related. You'll have to wait until my next post to hear about that...

Back to the bags, we're almost finished. A quick stop to the Dollar Tree rounded out the loot.

Krazy Straws, 6pk = 17 cents

Mini pinball games, 8pk = 13 cents each

(I neglected to take a photo, oops)

Cinnamon graham crackers, 6pk = 17 cents each

Token photo of furry cuteness, Ollie feels neglected!

Mr. Hot Tea and I come from extended Filipino families, which meant that an adults-only reception was never an option for us. Kids actually make up 10% of the guest list. I'm happy to be able to provide them with an unexpected present to keep their attention occupied (at least through dinner) and hopefully avoid any early munchkin meltdowns.


Were kiddie activity bags part of your DIY project list? Maybe you're contemplating adding them now? Feel free to share your enthusiasm or at least tell me you're running to Michael's to scour the Fun Find bins. Happy hunting!

Oh, Drama Llama

Aloha, dear Hive! Oh, how I've missed you. The past couple of weeks have been stressful at best. I've been trying to maintain a sunny disposition and not let wedding planning get the best of me. But, it has. It sure has.


We all have our fair share of family drama, vendor drama and life drama. If I had one wish it would be to declare our wedding a "drama-free" zone.

Image and art via RJH Graphics

I'll spare you the gory details, venting would only make matters worse, leading to more hurt feelings and unneeded regret. My mom came to the rescue and gave great advice from 2,000 miles away. She said, "Unless you are ready to call off the wedding, rise above it and be the better person." I wanted to pout and throw a tantrum bridezilla-style. Instead, I admitted she was right and moved forward out of my funk.

Until she set me straight, I was stuck. I attempted to write about happy stuff to divert my attention from the trouble -- the bachelorette party, cake tasting, ring bling, shedding for the wedding. Nothing felt right, the words were forced and distracted. And then the guilt set in, I was failing in my WB obligation. Couldn't anything go my way?

Over this past weekend, I got a PM from someone who shared that she liked reading about my journey. Her kind words propelled me to be here writing to you now. I'm unstuck, open and ready to share again. Thank you, you know who you are :)

I also want to take a moment to tell you about Mr. Hot Tea's unwavering support through all the crap. He's listened with compassion and defended my position to anyone who tries to pick an unnecessary wedding-related fight. He remains the reason to endure the drama. In the end, we will be married. And knowing that our wedding will be one of the best days of my life keeps me in the game for these few remaining weeks.

Let's just home I don't find one of these at my door! So not cute.

Image via Cheezburger // Credit: Kivuli

All Rise: Time to Judge my Beauty Trial

Hello, Hive! A fever pitch is on the horizon with W-Day less than a handful of weeks away. I've completely focused all effort and energy to crossing off to-dos and making the last decisions to impact the look and feel of our wedding. No more time to change my mind, it feels good to find some final answers!

Case in point, my beauty trials. From my initial hair inspiration, Anne Hathaway's glamorous locks clearly won out.

Image via Real Beauty

And as it has been throughout the planning process, my style turned out nothing like the original vision. This time it was totally my own fault - I fell in love with a rhinestone hair ribbon necklace from Untamed Petals at The Collection Event Studio booth during the Fizz & Frills event in San Francisco. I wore it for the entire two-hour drive home, it makes me feel so pretty!

Last week I met with my fabulous hair stylist Cathy at Euphoria Salon in Monterey. She's my go-to girl since my first Japanese straightening three years ago. Cathy took one look at the hair ribbon and suggested a style she's been dying to try since seeing it on YouTube.

Video via YouTube / Posted by Lilith Moon

And so we tried it! Keep in mind that it was her first attempt and she promised to practice between now and the wedding to get the twist down just right. Before I reveal the look, let me also share a quick word about makeup. I was lucky enough to have both my trials on the same day!

Belinda, owner of Heaven Scent Salon in Hollister, referred to my inspiration photos and got to work. I wanted to look natural and fresh with a 'bridal' glow. Here's the main picture on which she chose to base my look.

Image via Health Beauty Spot

Belinda shared these snaps from her phone after my first round of hair and her awesome makeup job! You can get a good look at the hair ribbon in these photos. And I'll apologize for not remembering to take a picture of my 'before' look. 

Cathy and I both agreed the hair looked a little flat and she re-did the 'do after Belinda finished her makeup magic. The next photos reflect some self-portrait action courtesy of my iPhone. Be prepared for lots of Teacup mug shots.

{ Are the falsies to spidery? }

{ Lashes looking good from this angle, I want more twist to show in my hair though }

{ Bump it, baby! The twist looks a little better on this side }

{ A look at the back, not an easy shot to get of yourself - ha! }

And hold on, we're not quite done yet. I took advantage of my trial to set up a test run with my awesome photographer John Kammerling. You've seen a preview of his work in our e-pics. He's slammed with the height of wedding season and yet sweetly offered a quick shoot after I explained wanting to preview my overall look in front of his lens.

Ladies, even if you don't go all out for bridal portraits, I highly recommend taking some test photos. I donned all my wedding gear and the resulting pictures were reassuring. It also helped me decide to slightly up the earring bling factor.

For now, I'm only providing head shots. I promise I will reveal my dress to you on W-Day after Mr. Hot Tea has gotten his first look! 

Photo courtesy Kaemmerling Photography 

Photo courtesy Kaemmerling Photography

Notice anything curious? Yeah, the hair didn't hold up on one side and after several attempts to recreate it, I had to scrap it for the test photos. On the other hand, the makeup lasted all day and night until I removed it with cleanser. Happy dance!

So now I'm ready for your feedback. Feel free to be honest - especially regarding those eyelashes. And know that there is zero tolerance for falling hair, it MUST hold all day!

Image via LOLcats / Photo: PancakeMomm / Caption: FurryCorona

Sunshine Wishes and Honeymoon Dreams

Summer in Santa Cruz is in full force. For those of you who've never visited California's central coast, there's a reason why local souvenir shops sell lots of fleece jackets. Instead of sunshine, blue skies, and warm beach days, we get what Mr. Hot Tea affectionately refers to as the fog monster. Here's a recent photo to reinforce the chill of a 60-degree summer:

{ The wool cap is a necessity, not just a fashion accessory }

The Teacup family vacation is regularly scheduled for late May or early June in hopes to avoid the fog monster for a little while. Unfortunately, W-Day planning and budgeting necessarily took priority over our annual summer sojourn. 

Dudes, we are suffering from cabin fever. First world problems, I know. We live in a place where millions of people visit annually, courtesy of the Beach Boardwalk.

{ Our evening view during a winter sunset }

Just as it is at any other destination, living here isn't the same as coming for a vacation getaway. We have been itching to book our honeymoon, and it's finally crossed off the wedding 'to-do' list!

Mr. Hot Tea and I agreed to a few parameters when deciding where to spend our first married adventure together. As with any vacation, HT needs good surf and I require relaxation on a sunny beach. We briefly discussed the possibility of a dream destination - Maldives.

{ paradise perfected } / Image via Maldives Tourism

A fleeting thought, Maldives will remain on our bucket list for now. Maybe for an anniversary trip, a new destination of this magnitude would send my analytical brain into immediate overload. I'd want to research, plan, re-plan, and do even more research to make sure we made every moment count. I have no extra energy to DIY my diet, let alone coordinate the details required for such an extravagant trip. We will get there, just not this year.

So what did we decide? Simplicity and familiarity won out in the end. We are going to . . . CABO!

{ Look, Mom! It's the Arch } / personal photo

Now, you may be thinking what I did the first time HT took me to there. One photo will say it all.

{ Spring Break, Cabo style } / Image via Destination 360

Not exactly the fit for a mellow 30-something and a laid-back 40-something, right? I agree. And that's why we stay closer to the sleepy town of San Jose del Cabo and away from the livelier nightlife of Cabo San Lucas.

Online tourist map via Playa Grande Resort

It's the first time we're using our vacation club points (read timeshare), which was a pure exercise in logistics coordination. In the end, we will spend 7 nights at the luxurious all-inclusive Dreams Los Cabos Golf Resort and Spa. Ahhhh, doesn't that sound relaxing?

We can't wait for W-Day because it means we are that much closer to the honeymoon. Warm water, sunshine, and waves all day. Cabo will be the perfect escape from the dreaded fog monster. I have to say, that was easy!

Image via Staples

Where to you plan to spend your honeymoon? Will it be a new adventure or somewhere comfortably familiar for you and your beloved? And any tips for Cabo, our resort, or nearby day trips?

p.s. Anyone else want to admit to owning an 'easy' button?!