PRE-CAP: Discovering dress regret - IT happens

3,700. The number of times we have typed "dress regret" on the WB boards. Why then was I oblivious to this potential pitfall until it actually happened to me? After choosing the "Cambridge" I was done looking, or so I thought. 


I mustered the courage to finally introduce myself on the boards and post a dress photo. Perhaps you remember my sassy avatar and if it's out on the internet it must be truth, right?

Then IT happened. By IT I'm referring to the union of Vera Wang and David's Bridal. Maybe you remember when Vera captivated the wedding world in early February by launching her "White" line to be sold exclusively at DB. If you so much as sneezed near a bridal blog you couldn't have missed IT, IT was everywhere.

My knowledge about Vera Wang wedding gowns was limited to two facts: 1) she was a high-end designer and 2) outside my price point. I knew nothing of her esthetic or influence. I'm also something of a snob about DB because of a horrible store experience years earlier. All this to say that I had zero interest in IT.

But the press, commentary and critique never seemed to end. Alright already, what's the big freaking deal?! I gave in, clicked over to the DB website and there IT was. My. Heart. Stopped. 

Photo credit: David's Bridal, courtesy of Vera Wang

WTH?!? I felt hot. My heart was pounding and I thought I might puke or pass out. I had never experienced a reaction like this and for a dress?!? I wanted to jump up and down and scream out loud. What was happening to me?!? IT was nothing like my dress choice, save the fit-and-flare silhouette. IT had that voluminous skirt. IT was pink, for goodness sakes. IT was love at first sight.

I tried to resist, and it took me a week to figure it out. IT one, Teacup zero.

Did you discover dress regret? When did you know your first dress choice wasn't "the one"? How did you reconcile the conflict, did you stick with your initial pick or go with your gut for the new gown? How did your final decision affect your feelings - were you happy with IT?

PRE-CAP: Dress #1 - Before Vera came Enzoani

I cannot tell you how relieved I feel to finally share the story of my dress search! Even still I find myself trying to hide the computer from Mr. Hot Tea so he won't catch a peek. DOH - we're married now silly Teacup, it's okay.


Let's rewind back a year ago. Just after getting engaged, we chose a date for our ceremony at the Carmel Mission Basilica. I had completed the Catholic catechism and was baptized, confirmed and received my first communion at that altar during Easter 2009. It only seemed logical to want to get married there, and I needed a dress to stand up to the grandeur.

Photo credit: Karlo M. Leonor

Dutifully following Randy Fenoli's advice of bridal homework, I poured over thousands of gowns in magazines and on theknot.com. I learned the recommended silhouettes for my body type and paid careful attention to my bookmarked styles. Maybe through process of elimination I'd figure out what I wanted. OCD, much?


Hindsight 20/20, I now know to listen for the little inner self who felt whirly-twirly over a beauty by Priscilla of Boston. She was all wrong for me and the Mission, and yet I still drool when she comes into view. Love!

"Morgan" from Priscilla of Boston's Vineyard Collection

The consultant let me try her on, knowing the ballgown cut and proportion would swallow my frame. I didn't even get a photo, she came off so fast. Frown-faced, I zipped into a lace fit-to-flare that was waaaaaay over budget. 

There's a small smile of relief

Like Miss Mole previously described, my early wedding vision gravitated toward Style Me Pretty's vintage-inspired, romantically rustic loveliness. Shifting my search to find the "perfect" version of this dress, I insisted on doing it alone so as not to be influenced by opinions other than my own. This decision was not my best idea ever. Then again, Mama Teacup was 2,000 miles away and I had to place an order soon.

There was something very 'look, but don't touch' about me in them. My reflection seemed pretty and it felt like how I wanted to be viewed by others - conservative, composed, in control. I'm realizing that this "safe" perception is my red flag of guardedness.

Just for grins, the consultant pulled something totally out of my criteria. I don't know the style, but many of you will recognize it. What I do remember is how FUN it felt to wear!

My inner self exposed. Quick, get back to safety!

With one final appointment at another shop to go, I was ready to buy something and move on to other important wedding tasks. I had my criteria down: romantic, lace, fit & flare, semi-sweetheart, no corset. My new consultant pulled the "Cambridge" by Blue by Enzoani, wrapped the "Diana" belt around my waist and started to tear up. And she said she never cries! So much for no external influence...

The belt sold it for me, I love that beautifully crafted creation. There I am, all ready to get married. No tears, no jumping. Safely guarded and in control - look, but don't touch. I left I trying to happy dance, but I'll admit now it felt forced. 

But I had done the impossible, right? I found "the one" within budget and meeting all my perceptions of what I thought I wanted. Unfortunately, my methodology would eventually backfire. It would cost five months, lost deposits, and a pink dress to learn that I couldn't analyze away my feelings.

How did your dress shopping experience compare to mine? Did you know what you wanted right from the start and stay true to your vision? Or did you come to a completely different decision? What feelings or self discoveries did you make in the process?




* In case you missed the teaser pic from our big day and don't want to wait for a future post to see dress #2, you can find it and a huge grin on my face here. *

Remember me? Re-entering reality as a MRS!

Aloooooooooha, Hive! 


Oh, how I've missed you. I could bore you with how work, life and wedding converged into the perfect personal storm over the last few weeks. It got so bad that I was in serious need of a happiness intervention.

Credit: Sweet Tooth Suicide

It's fascinating that the time leading up to "the happiest day of our lives" could cause crippling stress and anxiety. I'm ashamed to admit that it got me questioning everything only a few days before W-day. Thankfully, Mr. Hot Tea picked me up, warmed my cold feet and functioned when I could no longer cope.


There will be time to fill you in with lots of pre-caps while we await our pro pics. That's right, we lived the cliche and are emerging post-wedding and honeymoon to tell the tale. I had no idea that being Mrs. would be so awesome! We can't get enough of calling each other our new pet names of "husband" and "wife" which is funny if only because "finace(e)" felt really awkward during our engagement. Go figure.


Anyway, I'm excited to finally share the stories of how I met my dress, our cake design process, my Vegas bachelorette party, and the DIY extravaganza that left me sleepless in Santa Cruz. I owe you at least that much before we get to the goods of W-Day, right? 


Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I'm back and will be posting regularly to get you all caught up. Until soon, here is a little pic of our big day. Yay!

xoxox,

MRS. Teacup

{ personal photo }